Stupor Bowl


Well, you know that I was quite a sports fan while growing up in the ‘60s.  It seemed like such a healthy distraction.  Living most of the decade in Wisconsin, I was conflicted by familial ties to the Chicago teams, where my paternal ancestral roots lay, and the Wisconsin-based teams of my friends.

A few Packer highlights from Super Bowl I will always be in my mind: Max McGee’s in particular.  First was his one-handed behind-the-back catch of a Bart Starr pass for a touchdown, and later a juggling catch for another dramatic touchdown.  Also, Jim Taylor, and later Elijah Pitts (twice), scoring touchdowns on the classic “Packer Power Sweep.”  [Indeed my recall is pretty good; you can watch some of those plays at the link below].


The next year, I remember watching the famous “Ice Bowl” game played on the “frozen tundra” of Lambeau Field – the NFL championship game of 1967 – played in Green Bay, Wisconsin on New Years Eve between the Packers and the Dallas Cowboys at a temperature of -13F degrees.  Or was it -16?  Freaking cold, and windy too.  The winner was to go to play in the 2nd Super Bowl (then known as The Championship of American Professional Football, or something like that) against the AFL champion, the Oakland Raiders.

Since the Bears couldn’t be in those first two Championship Games, I was happy that the Packers were in, and that they won – although I wish the Chiefs and Raiders had been more worthy opponents.

Less memorable was Super Bowl II.  And to be honest, the halftime shows weren’t very memorable either.  Pretty much the tame standard fare, with marching bands moving into various fancy formations.  They played contemporary tunes with banners waving and batons twirling.  Mostly the announcers talking about how the game was progressing with entertainment in the background.  Carol Channing came out in a fur coat and sang a few songs at least once.

One piece of early Super Bowl history entertainment that was pretty “out there” was when Al Hirt and Doc Severinsen (famous trumpeters of the day) had a sort of dueling trumpeters competition.  Al Hirt was a fairly regular halftime entertainer in those days, if I recall correctly.  Dude could blow.

What’s going on today is really “out there.”  I cannot imagine what I would have  been thinking (and wondering and fantasizing) as a 10 to 14-year old lad if I’d had to watch what passes for halftime entertainment in recent Super Bowls.

In case you missed this year’s, I start by saying just three  letters: (1)”S”; (2) “E”, (3) “X”.  Beyonce’ was the focus of the halftime show.  She’s one beautiful woman – amazingly only one year after giving birth – and her attire and gyrations made every effort to show off her voluptuous yet lithe sexy body; and no effort whatsoever to cover even a single centimeter of her sensationally (sensually) tone legs, leaving her exposed pretty much right up to where her legs come together.

Some other female singers (Destiny’s Child) came up on stage with her and gave no relief: just more scantily clad women dressed “to kill” and scintillate. Or titillate.  More legs and scarcely clad torsos.

Really NFL?  Really?  Why do you do this?  Once or twice a year America is on display to the world … and you do this?  And in our country, young men, adolescent and pre-pubescent males, are watching this game – perhaps fantasizing about playing football in the limelight. And now you’ve got ‘em fantasizing about…        <?>; not football.

You could’ve put an end to this BS in 2004 when Jackson/Timberlake had that little “wardrobe malfunction” during a song with the lyrics: “gonna have you naked by the end of this song.” [Rock your Body].  How’d that work out?

It’s a twisted world — with rampant failed relationships, domestic abuse, date rape, no-dad families, socially maladjusted young men — and you are now officially part of the problem.  And shame on Beyonce’ and Destiny’s Child too, for further objectifying women.  I pity the parents who are raising boys who simply enjoy football and have to watch such bilge.  I guess I’m being a bit sexist — there must be some girls who enjoy watching football too, and they have no need for this, do they?

With Beyonce’, I suppose low moral values comes as no surprise, since her husband is Jay-Z.  That’s the guy who “sings” rap full of the “F” word, the “N” word, brags about his net worth, raps about totin’ guns, raping and killing women AND children, pillaging villages … WTF<?>.  And this is the man/wife-team that President Obama goes to hang out with when Benghazi is burning. The team he wants to hang with at his inauguration.  Evidently Michelle and Beyonce’ are all kissy-kissy too.  Oh well.

I’m warming up to that Christian mantra:

I am in this world, but not of this world. (adapted from John 8:23).

     I truly wish you peace, and a safe separation between what you value and what the world thinks you should value.  And I wish that sports could be a safe distraction, once again.

Joe Girard © 2013



[1] A few videos of early “Super Bowls”: here at]
Other essays (and screeds, diatribes, rants) at my old googlesite: essays
or my main Girardmiester site: Essays